SMOKING

My wish is that if you are a mother or father, or want to be one, when you read this something changes inside you.

This is not a judgment, it is my experience.

I grew up in the womb of a smoker. I grew up in a house where the smell of stews mingled with that of tobacco. I traveled in a car with the windows closed while the smoke enveloped everything. I curled up in the bed of a mother who, while she caressed me with one hand, held a cigarette in the other.

The smoking I've been surrounded by has affected my life and my health. I have asthma, which limits my life.

I have hated tobacco for as long as I can remember.

I've never kissed someone who smoked because I despise the smell.

Growing up with someone with an addiction, you don't learn to take care of yourself or love yourself. You don't know how to value your own life.

You learn that his dependence on you is greater than ever. That he'd even rather die than leave you. You feel like he doesn't love you enough. That you're not enough.

In some cases, they hide so they can't be seen. They lie to us. They teach us that deception is valid, while they ask us not to lie. We feel disappointed by those who should be our role models. They hurt us.

We live in a society that thrives on so many people addicted to tobacco. This addiction generates millions of lives each year. So it's no wonder the health problems it causes aren't as significant as they should be.

These are some of the known physical causes, to date, in children raised in smoky environments: low birth weight, sudden death, acute otitis media, asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia, cancer, heart and cardiovascular disease, erectile dysfunction, infertility, and more.

The mental health consequences include a higher number of people with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and a higher likelihood of addictions, etc. These seem like sufficient reasons to me to quit.

Self-portrait April 2020

Embroidery June 2024

- Tied Mouliné thread